


Blue skies and bluer eyes

by Midlifecrisiskeith, SilverRowan



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Angst, Fluff and Angst, Hospitals, Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-29
Updated: 2021-02-20
Packaged: 2021-03-15 23:14:13
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,511
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29072358
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Midlifecrisiskeith/pseuds/Midlifecrisiskeith, https://archiveofourown.org/users/SilverRowan/pseuds/SilverRowan
Summary: “Wait! Are you staying here? If you are, can we be friends? I haven’t seen anyone my own age here at all yet haha” The boys eyes widened. They were an interesting shade of blue Gon realised. Not quite dark enough to be navy but not bright enough to be sapphire. They were like an ocean, deep and mysterious. Gon’s brain snapped back into focus when he realised he had been asked a question. “I’m sorry what did you say? I didn’t quite catch it”“I said my name is Killua, what’s yours”“I’m Gon!”-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Gon has recently been admitted to inpatient care where he meets Killua.Frequent updates
Relationships: Gon Freecs & Killua Zoldyck, Gon Freecs/Killua Zoldyck
Comments: 8
Kudos: 28





	1. Peanut butter and chocolate chip cookies

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! Thanks for clicking on the first chapter of my fanfic. This is actually a rewrite of an old upload so sorry if it seems familiar. To be fair very little is changed in this first chapter so expect the quality of writing to drastically increase after this chapter. This time I should follow through with updates, finger crossed! I hope you enjoy!

When Gon woke up the sun was shining through the blinds, small blue patches filled the gaps from the stickers on the window. The dancing colours were weirdly entrancing, the way they shifted on the floor looked like ripples on the surface of a lake. Idly, he remembered the trips he used to take to the lake; leaving at dawn, fishing rod in hand and returning only when it had become so dark, he could no longer see his hand in front of his face. It was with both fondness and bitterness that he remembered those days, for they could not happen anymore. He had recently been moved to inpatient care and, whilst the doctors tried to be quiet about it, he assumed he wouldn’t be around much longer to take it in. He’d been trying to convince his nurses to let him walk around because of that fact, but they had all said the same thing. He was too weak, or too fragile. He could get hurt. Feeling so useless was new to Gon. Before this stay he could at least move around by himself if he wanted, but now he was constricted to this small hospital bed.

As Gon lay looking at the dancing colours coming through the window he heard footsteps approaching his door. Assuming it was just a nurse coming to perform check-ups he payed it no mind. However, when he heard the abrupt footsteps stop with a gasp he looked up. There, standing in the door was a boy, he looked to be around his age with ghostly pale skin and silver hair.   
“Sorry I must’ve gone to the wrong room” he muttered before trying to discreetly manoeuver his way back into the corridor. Gon’s mind, still slightly frozen, almost missed its opportunity just managing to get the boys attention before he left.   
“Wait! Are you staying here? If you are, can we be friends? I haven’t seen anyone my own age here at all yet haha” The boys eyes widened. They were an interesting shade of blue Gon realised. Not quite dark enough to be navy but not bright enough to be sapphire. They were like an ocean, deep and mysterious. Gon’s brain snapped back into focus when he realised he had been asked a question.   
“I’m sorry what did you say? I didn’t quite catch it”  
“I said my name is Killua, what’s yours”  
“I’m Gon!”

As Gon opened his mouth to say something else, an ear grating screech was heard down the hall. Judging by the boy’s immediate tension, Gon guessed he knew who the screech belonged to.   
“I should go” the boy; Killua, Gon should really start calling him Killua; muttered and turned to leave.   
“I’ll see you later” Gon called after his retreating back. A muffled affirmation was yelled back, leaving Gon once again alone, except this time he had something to look forward to rather than just being left to his depressive thoughts.

～～～～～～～

Gon’s door was once again disturbed just after lunch, however, this time he knew who it was.   
“Aunt Mito!” he yelled, trying to get out of bed.   
“Gon! Stay there!” Mito yelled, running to her nephew and pushing him back. She looked on at him with a mixture of love and pity as he sighed and rearranged himself on the bed. Whilst she didn’t believe that throwing around blame would be of any benefit to Gon, she couldn’t help but feel guilty. Mito had been diagnosed with leukemia when she was a child, the same illness that Gon was struggling with now. Luckily, hers had been found in the early stages and so had been able to be treated efficiently. However, due to the fact that Mito had to fight tooth and nail with Ging to get Gon checked out his had had time to manifest itself, settling into his bones and spreading far from the singular spawn point. Whilst she would always feel the guilt for putting Gon at a predisposition, it was nowhere near the amount of rage she felt towards Ging for allowing his child to go on suffering as he did.

“Mitoooo, did you bring cookies?” Gon’s voice broke Mito out of her quickly spiraling thoughts with his whine, reminding her of the fresh baked goods stowed in her bag. She pulled a large cardboard box out with a smile handing it to Gon.   
“I baked these just this morning. They’re your favourite; peanut butter and chocolate chip.” His face lit up at the words and it was clear he was holding himself back from ripping the wrapping as he delicately peeled open the lid.   
“Thanks Mito these are delicious!” Gon spoke around a mouth full of cookie.   
“I’m glad you like them, but please don’t choke” she replied brushing off the loose crumbs from around Gon’s mouth. The grin that he returned make Mito’s heart skip. He looked so happy, even trapped in here he managed to brighten up the room. As angry with Ging as she was, she wouldn’t trade the world for the time she had managed to spend with Gon. Even if he did end leaving her early; if not when, there was a chance he could pull through; she knew she could be happy that he’d had the best quality of life he could and that he’d made a positive impact in so many people’s lives. Especially hers.

“Mito why are you crying?” She raised a hand to her face and felt the wet trails left behind by unknowingly shed tears.   
“I just love you so much.”  
“I love you t-” Gon started before Mito swept him up in a bone-crushing hug.  
“I’m sorry. I’m so so sorry” she whispered into his ear, letting herself break for the first time since the diagnosis. She should be feeling guilty, she should be being strong for Gon, but right now all she wanted to do was show him how much she cared and how truly sorry she was.   
“It’s not your fault” a small voice spoke. “It’s not your fault.” Gon pulled himself back from the hug and looked Mito in the eyes. “None of this is your fault. You’ve been so kind and helpful and I’m sure I would’ve gone a long time ago if it wasn’t for you. I love you Aunt Mito and I don’t like it when you’re upset so please stop crying.”  
“When did you get so grown up” Mito asked, wiping the tears from her eyes and smiling sadly at Gon. When had he grown up so much. Just yesterday he was a baby chasing after his dad, where does the time go. I just wish i could protect him a little longer.

～～～～～～～

Killua slowly walked towards the source of the incoherent screeching with a feeling of dread settling in his chest.  
“KILLU THERE YOU ARE! I WAS SO WORRIED! NEVER LEAVE LIKE THAT AGAIN!” The high-pitched voice assaulted his eardrums as he rounded the corner and he rolled his eyes. Sweeping him up in her arms she shepherded him back into his room muttering about how ungrateful he was under her breath. The dread he felt earlier felt insignificant compared to the absolute fear he felt at seeing his older brother standing by his bed.   
“Hello Kil, I hope you’ve been taking care of yourself.”


	2. Sunshine on a winter's day

A slow beeping reverberated around the dark room, a red glow the only source of light visible inside the room aside from the green emergency signs situated above every door. Gon awoke to a light pressure, steadily growing around his upper arm. Looking to his left a slim figure was silhouetted against the window. It moved almost robotically, reaching into the trays it had pushed into his room and withdrawing various pieces of equipment. He wanted to remain quiet, his still half-asleep brain was unable to distinguish between fiction and reality and was half convinced that this was some kind of evil villain here to experiment on him. His wishes, however, were rendered null when a sudden wracking cough took over his body. The slow and calm movements of the figure halted at the sound and in a second they were focused on Gon, an oxygen mask slipped over his face and a calming hand brushing through his hair. After the fit had subsided the figure retreated to their position beside the cart. Gon now felt absolutely exhausted, his body heavy and eyes slipping closed but he kept himself awake, determined to watch his nurse; he assumed it was his nurse, no villain would treat him so softly; complete their nightly check-up. He was so focused on maintaining his view that when they went to move his arm he did not budge.

“Hey, you’re going to need to move your arm for me. I have to redo your blood pressure.” A soft voice whispered to him. Looking up his eyes met grey ones, they looked almost red due to the lights coming from the various medical instruments strewn across his bed. 

Slowly he lifted his arm and slipped the rubbery black cuff over it. As it inflated he looked up to his caretaker, they had shoulder length blonde hair and looked to be wearing a single earring in their left ear. Sensing his stare they slowly turned around, meeting it with a soft smile.

“Are you okay? Do you need me to grab something for you?” They sounded concerned Gon noted, unsurprising coming from someone whose job it was to basically babysit kids on their deathbeds.

He shook his head, throat too sore from his earlier fit to say anything. Their movement towards him had made the name tag attached to the front of their uniform become illuminated by the moon. He could vaguely make out a ‘K’ but they were just too far away for him to clearly read anything. They nodded slowly at him before turning back to the monitor on the desk.

“Well it looks like you are in good shape tonight, everything looks stable. I’m sorry for waking you up, just try and get back to sleep, okay?”

As they made to move away a strained croak came from Gon’s mouth.

“Wha- what’s your name?” He wheezed. 

Their face softened before they smiled and said:

“I’m Kurapika, it’s been lovely meeting you tonight Gon.” 

With that they were gone, and Gon was left in the pitch black dark with only the glowing exit signs to keep him company.

\--------------------

The sky was clear of clouds when he woke up, a pale blue spread across the windows, illuminating the room and sending dancing ripples across the floor once again. Gon woke up with the birds, similar to the way he had back on Whale island. When nature woke, everyone else did too, the caws of birds and growls of bears far too loud for anyone but the heaviest sleeper to sleep through. It seemed so peaceful back then, the days full of fun and adventure, no real rules holding him back. Not holding him back like they did now, confined to a bed in a dreary white room with nothing to amuse himself except picturing his own demise. It may seem like a morbid thought to some, but to Gon it was almost a hope. He had lost almost all of his sense of self and he didn’t know what the point was to continue any longer, especially if the life he was living wasn’t his. Of course none of this had ever escaped his lips, Mito would be distraught and that was something Gon never wanted to be the cause of. Perhaps if he could find something he could become interested in he would become more willing to carry hope? But in this hospital that only smelt of death, could he find such a thing?

Blue eyes, eyes like the ocean. Deep and mysterious and beautiful. Hiding so much emotion in, even in a small glance.

These eyes assaulted Gon’s brain with feelings of longing, of wanting to find out more. Who was this boy? The only other one his age in the entire hospital it seemed. Was he like Gon? Also trapped here against his will. Was he also wasting away second by second, losing all hope to ever live a real life? Was he also looking for something to tether him to this world, just like Gon? Inspiration struck and in that moment Gon made a split second decision, one that would shape his days to come. This boy was going to be the thing that kept him going. This boy was going to be his friend and nothing would stop him from making that a reality. Both fortunately for Gon and unfortunately for everyone else, when he set his mind on something there was very little anyone could do to stop him. His eyes would gleam a bright gold and his smile would widen tenfold when he got what he wanted no matter what that was and what he wanted was Killua.

\-----------------

He’d managed to convince a nurse to wheel him out onto the communal balcony so he could enjoy the unusually sunny winter day to its fullest. About thirty minutes into his fresh air session he heard light footsteps approaching from his left. Turning his head ever so slightly he caught a glimpse of fluffy silver hair in his peripheral. It was Killua, the boy he had decided to befriend. Clearly not expecting someone to be on the balcony Killua started to back track in almost the same way he had done out of Gon’s room, certainly quiet but slightly ungraceful. Similar to that of the walk of a bird not used to the weight of its wings.

“You don’t have to leave, y’know? I’d actually quite enjoy the company.” Gon spoke, still looking forward, out to the horizon. 

Killua stiffened behind him and slowly, with large levels of trepidation, moved towards him. Eventually he came to rest beside Gon’s chair. Gon took this moment to properly look at the pale boy beside him. His skin was almost as pale as his hair, however it held more of a pinkish hue. Perhaps a permanent blush or just the typical flush of over exertion. From the looks of it, Killua’s body was in a very similar state to Gon’s, yet he was still up and moving. Why he was, Gon could not guess. Was he not also being held back by nurses twenty four seven? Continuing his looking, Gon’s eyes moved to Killua’s hands. They were slender and veiny, very similar to those of a pianist and the exact opposite of Gon’s stout, stubby fingers. He was imagining what it would be like to hold that hand in his when a sharp flick on his forehead brought him back to reality.

“Hey, you zoned out for a second there and you were kind of...staring at me.” 

Looking up at Killua’s face Gon realised that the pale pink undertones had become stronger, his cheeks no longer just dusted pink anymore. Instead they almost glowed, like a rose bud that was slowly opening and…

“Hey! You’re doing it again!” A much louder voice brought him out of his thoughts this time. Killua now had a frown on his face, his arms crossed in front of him. “Why are you just sitting there in silence, I know you can talk, I’ve heard you before.” Killua seemed to be getting more annoyed by the second, but all Gon did was grin. With a huff Killua pulled up a chair and sat next to him, sensing he wasn’t going to get very far with this.

Almost an hour had passed and neither boy had uttered another word; Killua was slowly growing more antsy, not used to being left in silence for so long. Usually there was at least one of his family members hovering over him, constantly asking him if he was alright and making sure he wasn’t over-straining himself. This new found peace he was having with Gon felt almost too good to be true, like sinking under a wave yet still being able to breathe, just watching the light refract through the water. However, all good things must come to an end, and end it does when Gon turns his head towards him and opens his mouth.

“Killua, why are you here?”

Five simple words are enough to send a jolt of panic through Killua’s brain. He couldn’t tell anyone, Illu-ni had forbidden him from it. He couldn’t make it seem like the supposed heir to the Zoldyck business was in any way weak and yet, he found a small part of his brain wanting to reach out to this boy. To ask for help and give help in return. However, that part of his mind was quickly squashed, a voice that sounded oddly like his brother reminding him that someone as pathetic as himself did not deserve friends, especially one as bright as Gon.

With his curious amber eyes fixed on his face, Killua felt an obligation to reply, he hung his head away from Gon and whispered softly, “It doesn’t matter really, all I know is that I’m going to be here for a while.” When he turned to face him, instead of the dejected look he expected, Killua instead saw a wide grin.

“Only a while? So you’ll be out one day?” Gon’s eyes gleamed with hope and Killua could not find it in himself to say that likely, no he won’t. He settled for a shrug, not wanting to outright confirm or deny Gon’s hopes. It would kill him if he were to be the one to dull that sparkle, knowing what it was like to have one's inner light crushed, he would not wish that on even his worst enemy. Gon’s eyes grew brighter at Killua’s lack of dismissal, his grin growing wider. He grabbed Killua’s hand in his and with the utmost conviction stated:

“Killua we’re going to leave here together. One day we’re going to both get out of here.”

Killua just smiled a small smile, behind it was a sadness, but in his excitement Gon did not notice that.

_I wish I could agree Gon, I wish I could agree._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay! Another chapter posted. Hopefully there should be some improvement in the writing. I'm really enjoying writing this and I hope to continue with this chedule. Thanks for reading!


	3. Dear Aunt Mito

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry for the extra wait, I wanted to try a new writing style and the formatting had me struggling a bit. For this chapter, it switches between a letter Gon is writing to Mito and Killua's point of view. The switch can be seen by the page breaks. Comments are always appreciated and I hope you enjoy!

To Aunt Mito,

Hi! Today the nurses told me that you wouldn’t be able to visit for a while, they wouldn’t tell me why though, but I think I know. I just want to let you know that it's ok and I understand. I want you to be just as happy as you have made me so I will never be angry at you for looking after yourself. Wow that got a bit sad, I didn’t mean for it to get like that but it’s very important that you know it. I love you so so much aunt Mito!

On a happier note I want to tell you about the good things that have been going on here! Last week I met my night nurse! Their name is Kurapika and they're so nice aunt Mito. When I first met them it was a bit awkward because I had a bit of a coughing attack. It’s nothing to worry about though! They helped me through it and I felt much better after it. They’re really caring; I’ve been struggling with sleeping and when I can’t sleep Kurapika tells me stories. They said the stories come from where they used to live. The community would apparently share stories and pass them down through generations and they said that they wanted to be able to pass it on to another. I don’t really understand that, I asked them why they couldn’t just tell their younger relatives it but they just looked really sad when I did. I didn’t mean to make them sad, I said I was sorry. Its ok if I do that right? You always taught me that problems will be fixed when you say sorry, but they still looked really upset. They tried to hide it with a smile but I could tell, was that my fault? Anyway, I think I’m getting off track.

I met this boy and Aunt Mito, he is amazing. We’ve been friends since the day after you last left. I think its been about three weeks since then, so it feels like ages! He’s really funny and we talk together all the time. He seems so lively and bright, he lights up my small world aunt mito. Everything seems so much more colourful and I can feel truly hopeful when he’s around. He’s life incarnate and I don’t think it could ever go out.

~~~~~~~~~~

Light glanced off the metal plaque embedded in the door. It read Dr. Paladiknight in a crisp, clinical font. A simple name yet it carried so much weight to the small pale boy standing in front of it. Killua slowly tried to stumble through the door that held it, accompanied by his ever present entourage. For why should he be allowed out of their sights ever? When he almost tripped his mother grabbed him by the arm and hauled him back to his feet. Under a false pretense of checking if he was okay she leaned down and whispered in his ear, a raspy undertone presenting itself in her malice.

“That is no way for a future heir to behave Killu. Strength and dignity, remember?” With that she straightened, and waltzed ahead. His eyes were fixed to the back of her retreating figure, his body frozen to the spot. _How could he mess up like this again? This was bad, he shouldn’t-_ A small shove from his brother was enough to snap him out of the sudden daze he found himself in.

Sapphire eyes caught the plaque again. “Dr Paladiknight, the doctor for lost causes'' rang through his head as he once again went to make his way through the door.

~~~~~~~~~~

Yesterday we played cards together. Killua is so good at it Aunt Mito, I want him to teach me how he does it but he just keeps saying it’s a “secret”. It's ok though, his eyes get so bright when he wins, and his laugh is the most adorable thing in the world. I would do anything to hear it even if it means losing a thousand card games to him. He’s just so amazing. I want to spend every last day I have with him. I think he will be out of here before me, I mean with how full of life he is he seems almost there already. I don’t want him to leave whilst I'm still here though. I know it's selfish but I want him to stay with me until the end; I want him to make everyday fun and full of adventure; I want him to tell me goodbye when the time comes.

I’m sorry aunt mito that got really dark, it's probably the exact opposite of what you want to hear right? Well I’ll tell you some more fun things then!

  * Killua really loves chocolate! I saw him bribe a nurse to get it for him just so he could sneak it past his parents. It felt like we were on a spy mission together, sneaking through the hallways and avoiding the enemies. We laughed so hard we were almost caught!
  * He’s really stylish as well. He gave me some of his clothes to try on because apparently my green pajamas were “hideous”. Don’t worry Aunt Mito he was only joking, I could tell because when he really doesn’t like something his nose wrinkles but it didn’t happen this time. His clothes were so pretty! They weren’t soft and cozy like mine though. A lot of them felt very stiff, like he hadn’t worn them much. I don’t know why though because surely he has all the time in the world to try on clothes at the moment.
  * As much as he pretends he doesn’t, Killua really likes it when I hug him and hold his hand. We like to sit out on the balcony together a lot and it was really cold yesterday so I leaned on him for warmth. The blush he gets when I do things like this is one of my favourite things to see. He’s so beautiful Aunt Mito, its like every time I look at him I never want to stop. He’s so perfect, life wouldn’t be the same without him.



~~~~~~~~~~

“Killua’s disease is progressing a lot faster than we anticipated”

The mellow voice of Dr Paladiknight echoed through the silent office. Three faces stared back at him each adopting a different emotion. The stricken face of a mother faced with the sudden possibility of loss, the stony face of a brother who would not let his emotions show in fear of weakness, and the silent resignation of a child who had known that this was coming all along.

“Killua will have to be placed on a feeding tube as his body simply cannot absorb the nutrients through the proper passageways anymore. This won't have any effect on his quality of life I assure you but it is definitely needed. I will also be upping his medication dosage and we’ll have a night nurse stationed outside his ward at all times just in case. I assure you Mrs. Zoldyck, we will do everything to help your son.”

The sobbing voice of his mother became merely a distant whine as Killua took in what the doctor had said. His body was breaking, and quickly at that. He had read the symptoms online, he wasn’t stupid. The breakdown of the digestive system was one of the late stages, one of the last things patients experienced before they… he didn’t want to become that, a doll-like figure lying on a bed with innumerable tubes sticking out of their body. No, he was going to live what he had left as best he could. He was going to live it with Gon and when the day came where he had to say goodbye he would know that he had taken every chance he could. Every chance to hold his hand, to see him smile, to hear him whine after a loss at cards. Killua was going to take it all in and no disease was going to ruin that. He would die with no regrets.

~~~~~~~~~~

Aunt Mito, I think I might be able to get better with him by my side. He gives me so much hope for the future that I think I could make it out. If I do I want to travel the world with him. When we’re free from here I want to see everything I can with Killua by my side. If what they say about soulmates is real I really think that i've found mine and I don’t want to ever let him go.

I love you Aunt Mito and I miss you so much

All my love

Gon

P.S When you come and see me again please bring more cookies!


End file.
